I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
