He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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