just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
