He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
