After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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