the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
