Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she smelled like a LAN party
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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