i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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