dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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