I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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