i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
