??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
