She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
