Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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