i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Pants 0. Shit 1.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
