I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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