I'm eating all of the evidence.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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