the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
