with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
