Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
