i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize