I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Its about making memories worth repressing
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
