Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
