You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
