if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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