the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can Purell be used as lube?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
