hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
