It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
