I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize