Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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