That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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