i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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