I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
