I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
