sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
