dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Fuck appropriateness.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
