Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
