tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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