I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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