Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
