I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize