Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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