I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize