Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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