your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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