Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
