At least make sure they are 18
Why
thus making me awesome and them whores
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
