make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
