so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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