Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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