I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I wish I only lived at night.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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