what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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