I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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