; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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