$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
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