I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
