did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
