Moan for me like Helen Keller
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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