I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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