You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize