what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
