i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
